Harrison Owen had some interesting things to say in a recent post on the Open Space List:
It is a common phenomenon that when first experiencing Open Space we tend to be blown away by the elegant simplicity, the ease and intimacy of relationships, the power of the energies released, the productive creation of new and fascinating ideas… And when contrasted with our everyday experience it almost seemed that we had entered a new world. The contrast was painful and almost inevitably yielded the “Monday Morning Syndrome.” After having wandered in something like the Garden of Eden it is very difficult to contemplate a return to the normal drudge of the typical Monday Morning.
I can surely understand the feelings if only because they were my own. However, if 25 years with Open Space have taught be anything, it is that the Monday Morning Syndrome is a matter of choice, and the pain experienced is, to some large extent, a self inflicted wound. There is probably no way to change the frustrations and tribulations of the world we live in – stuff happens.
But what can change is the way we perceive all of that and seek to deal with it. If our response to Tribulation X and Frustration Y is to yank the (supposed) levers of control, and then feel guilty or victimized when our best efforts fail – as is almost inevitably the case – the misery we experience is of our own making.
And there is another way, a very natural way. Just open space.
Now, I’m first in line with the skeptics who don’t want to drink the KoolAid and decide that “Open Space” is the long-sought-after Universal Panacea. But what caught my attention is the whole “response to tribulation X and frustration Y is to yank the (supposed) levers of control…” That part resonated, mainly because it reminds me of the Taoist principle of Wu-Wei (loosely translated as “nonaction“).
The idea is that the more you try to control events/places/people the more frustrated you get…but at the same time, by opening a space (or, as I would think of it, a path) for people to go, and making it attractive, they will go there and do what they needed to do regardless.
When doing a GRUE, I call this “hands in the pocket” moments – when I’ve finished the intro, set people to posting classes, and I just need to get the fuck out of the way.
Maybe that’s the way I would phrase Harrison’s statement:
If things aren’t going the way you want, maybe you just need to get the fuck out of the way.
I’m wondering if this can be a method to counter not only GRUE-drop, but con drop in general. Right now I tend to fight it with two strategies:
- Do NOT talk about anything negative from the event. Acknowledge that they exist, but that you’ll deal with them later. Immediately after is too raw a time to react to them appropriately.
- Eat something decadent, watch something frivolous, do something silly. Anything at all that has nothing to do with kink, GRUEs, or remotely productive behavior.
At best I need an evening of this, at worst I may take an entire day. What are your strategies?
Tags: con drop, grue, harrison own, open space